[00:03.25]Drinkers: Come on you old pest
[00:04.32]Fetch a bottle of your best
[00:05.58]What's the nectar of the day?
[00:06.66]
[00:08.74]Théardier: Here, try this lot
[00:09.75]Guaranteed to hit the spot
[00:11.36]Or I'm not Théardier
[00:12.86]
[00:13.65]Drinkers: Gissa glass a rum
[00:14.13]Landlord, over here!
[00:15.84]
[00:16.30]Théardier: Right away, you scum
[00:17.74]Right away, Monsieur
[00:18.77]
[00:19.40]Diners: God this place has gone to hell
[00:21.14]So you tell me every year
[00:22.30]
[00:24.37]Théardier:
[00:25.31]My band of soaks
[00:27.24]My den of dissolutes
[00:29.02]My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts.
[00:32.75]My sons of whores
[00:34.82]Spent their lives in my inn
[00:38.08]Homing pigeons homing in
[00:40.57]They fly through my doors
[00:45.79]And their money's as good as yours
[00:48.72]
[00:52.00]Welcome, Monsieur
[00:53.99]Sit yourself down
[00:55.52]And meet the best innkeeper in town.
[01:00.94]As for the rest,
[01:02.74]All of 'em crooks
[01:04.46]Rooking their guestsand cooking the books.
[01:07.89]
[01:09.85]Seldom do you see
[01:13.11]Honest men like me
[01:15.82]A gent of good intent
[01:18.25]Who's content to be
[01:20.88]
[01:21.94]Master of the house
[01:23.45]Doling out the charm
[01:24.90]Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[01:27.70]Tells a saucy tale
[01:29.10]Makes a little stir
[01:30.56]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
[01:33.32]Glad to do a friend a favor
[01:36.16]Doesn't cost me to be nice
[01:38.96]But nothing gets you nothing
[01:40.50]Everything has got a little price!
[01:42.99]
[01:44.60]Master of the house
[01:46.00]Keeper of the zoo
[01:47.40]Ready to relieve them of a sou or two
[01:50.16]Watering the wine
[01:51.60]Making up the weight
[01:52.95]Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
[01:55.83]Everybody loves a landlord
[01:58.50]Everybody's bosom friend
[02:01.22]I do whatever pleases
[02:02.58]Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
[02:04.79]
[02:05.49]Master of the house
[02:06.77]Quick to catch yer eye
[02:08.10]Never wants a passerby to pass him by!
[02:10.85]Servant to the poor
[02:12.23]Butler to the great
[02:13.58]Comforter, philosopher,And lifelong mate!
[02:16.34]Everybody's boon companion
[02:19.10]Everybody's chaperone
[02:21.70]But lock up your valises
[02:23.14]Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
[02:24.91]
[02:29.98]Enter Monsieur, lay down your load
[02:33.40]Unlace your boots
[02:35.18]And rest from the road
[02:38.75]This weighs a ton
[02:40.26]Travel's a curse
[02:42.20]But here we strive to lighten your purse
[02:47.66]Here the goose is cooked
[02:50.77]Here the fat is fried
[02:53.50]And nothing's overlooked till I'm satisfied...
[02:57.97]
[02:59.00]Food beyond compare
[03:00.41]Food beyond belief
[03:01.85]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[03:04.59]Kidney of a horse
[03:06.01]Liver of a cat
[03:07.44]Filling up the sausages with this and that
[03:10.19]Residents are more than welcome
[03:13.02]Bridal suite is occupied
[03:15.74]Reasonable charges
[03:17.10]Plus some little extras on the side!
[03:20.83]
[03:21.14]Charge 'em for the lice
[03:22.54]Extra for the mice
[03:24.08]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[03:26.62]Here a little slice
[03:27.96]There a little cut
[03:29.34]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[03:32.02]When it comes to fixing prices
[03:34.81]There are a lot of tricks he knows
[03:37.55]How it all increases
[03:38.93]All those bits and pieces
[03:40.38]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
[03:42.32]
[03:43.05]Master of the house
[03:44.34]Quick to catch yer eye
[03:45.66]Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[03:48.37]Servant to the poor
[03:49.74]Butler to the great
[03:51.08]Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
[03:53.78]Everybody's boon companion
[03:56.50]Gives 'em everything he's got
[03:59.14]Dirty bunch of geezers
[04:00.50]Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
[04:02.58]
[04:03.74]Mrs. Théardier:
[04:08.77]I used to dream
[04:10.24]That I would meet a prince
[04:13.22]But God Almighty,
[04:14.70]Have you seen what's happened since?
[04:19.46]Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit!
[04:23.40]Comforter, philosopher? and lifelong bitch!
[04:27.64]Cunning little brain
[04:29.63]Regular Voltaire
[04:31.78]Thinks he's quite a lover
[04:33.46]But there's not much there
[04:35.82]What a cruel trick of nature
[04:39.38]Landed me with such a louse
[04:42.05]God knows how I've lasted
[04:43.27]Living with this bastard in the house!
[04:45.16]
[04:46.06]Théardier & Drinkers: Master of the house!
[04:47.42]Mrs. Théardier: Master and a half!
[04:48.68]Théardier & Drinkers: Comforter, philosopher
[04:49.98]Mrs. Théardier: Ah, don't make me laugh!
[04:51.32]Théardier & Drinkers: Servant to the poor! Butler to the great!
[04:54.17]Mrs. Théardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
[04:56.84]Everybody bless the landlord!
[04:59.59]Everybody bless his spouse!
[05:02.35]Théardier: Everybody raise a glass!
[05:05.30]Mrs. Théardier: Raise it up the master's arse!
[05:07.95]Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
[05:10.66]

Drinkers: Come on you old pest
Fetch a bottle of your best
What's the nectar of the day?
Théardier: Here, try this lot
Guaranteed to hit the spot
Or I'm not Théardier
Drinkers: Gissa glass a rum
Landlord, over here!
Théardier: Right away, you scum
Right away, Monsieur
Diners: God this place has gone to hell
So you tell me every year
Théardier:
My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts.
My sons of whores
Spent their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors
And their money's as good as yours
Welcome, Monsieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town.
As for the rest,
All of 'em crooks
Rooking their guestsand cooking the books.
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be
Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve them of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by!
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher,And lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Enter Monsieur, lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road
This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive to lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked till I'm satisfied...
Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
Master of the house
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got
Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
Mrs. Théardier:
I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit!
Comforter, philosopher? and lifelong bitch!
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
But there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted
Living with this bastard in the house!
Théardier & Drinkers: Master of the house!
Mrs. Théardier: Master and a half!
Théardier & Drinkers: Comforter, philosopher
Mrs. Théardier: Ah, don't make me laugh!
Théardier & Drinkers: Servant to the poor! Butler to the great!
Mrs. Théardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Théardier: Everybody raise a glass!
Mrs. Théardier: Raise it up the master's arse!
Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!